Straight Up Love - Lexi Ryan Read online

  She swallows and searches my face. “When I thought Molly might have had your baby, I saw it all in a flash. A future where I was trying to give you a child and failing. A future where I pushed you away because I was so miserable about my body’s failure.”

  I shake my head. She’s ripping out my heart, and she doesn’t even know it. After all this time and all my screw-ups, she still believes she’s not enough for me. “I’m not in any rush for the future. Tomorrow can wait, as long as I get to have today with you.”

  She closes her eyes and tips her face down. “I’m not pregnant.”

  “What?”

  “I took a test today. I was silly to think I might have been, but I kind of hoped . . . Maybe I’m foolish to think I might ever be.”

  I can’t take it anymore, so I tilt her chin up so she’s looking at me and then lower my mouth to hers. She slides a hand into my hair and kisses me in return, but I pull away when I feel her shaking. I hold her gaze while I speak. “You’re the woman I love, and I want to be with you whether we can have kids or not.” I run my hands down her arms until I’m lacing our fingers together. “I’m in love with you. That didn’t change when I thought Noah might be my child, and that doesn’t change if you aren’t pregnant now or ever.”

  “I know you’re not Harrison,” she says, searching my face. “I know that because you give everything, Jake. I want to be able to give something to you in return.”

  I brush my lips across hers again and again. “This is all I want,” I whisper. “You. Just you.”

  “Can I have my job back?”

  I laugh against her mouth. “Is that what this is about? A job?”

  “I miss it. I miss hanging out with you, and hearing you geek out about beer.” She pulls back and looks into my eyes. “Colton says I’m afraid of change, but that’s because I like my life. I especially like the parts when I’m with you.”

  “You can work at Jackson Brews anytime you want, but that doesn’t get you off the hook for pursuing a job you love.”

  She nods. “Oh, I know. That’s why I talked to the board about expanding the Jackson Harbor Children’s Theater program into a year-round community-outreach program. I’ll have drama clubs for all ages in the afternoons, and plays year-round.”

  I gape at her. “Yes. Ava, that’s perfect.”

  “I think so too. The pay won’t be much, but I have grant money coming in and am eligible for more now that we’re offering afterschool programs.” She drags her bottom lip between her teeth and studies me.

  I press her hand to my chest, afraid she might disappear if I let go. “What can I do to help?”

  “Well, the building I’m leasing needs some work, so I might hire you for some underpaid manual labor if you’re up for it.”

  “You don’t have to ask twice. Anything.”

  She arches a brow. “Even if I make you do the work shirtless?”

  I pull her onto the floor with me so we’re both lying on our sides. “You could talk me into anything right now. Just say that you’re mine.”

  “I’m yours.”

  “Damn right you are.” Grinning, I pull her body against mine.

  “Ellie is pregnant,” she says before I can kiss her, and I’m surprised enough that I pull back.

  “Colton’s?” I ask, knowing the answer. Levi might be in love with his best friend’s girl, but he wouldn’t act on it.

  “I assume so. She didn’t say otherwise.”

  “Does he know?”

  “Not yet.” She drags in a ragged breath. “I felt bad enough before, but now that she’s pregnant it’s going to be a bigger mess when Molly finally tells Colt about Noah.”

  I frown. “What do you mean?”

  She props herself up on one elbow and studies me. “Did you see him when you went up there? The kid is obviously a McKinley.”

  I open my mouth and then close it again. “Yeah, the family resemblance is really clear.” But is that because Colton is the father? That’s a lot less disturbing than what I thought before leaving Molly’s, but I won’t upset Ava by speculating out loud. This is Molly’s secret. She’s the only one with the answers.

  “I told Molly I’d give her three months to figure out how she’s going to tell Colton. I can’t keep this secret from my brother.” She shakes her head. “What a mess. I don’t want Ellie to be hurt.”

  “She’ll be okay. She has you.” I roll over her, resting my weight on my elbows and look down into her dark eyes. “And so do I.”

  “I suppose you do.” She grins. “I think you always did.”

  I lower my mouth to hers and decide it’s the perfect time to show her just how long I’ve wanted her and how many things I’ve imagined doing to her right in this very tree fort.

  Ava

  Two months later . . .

  Lilly is officially the cutest Fern who’s ever graced the stage of Charlotte’s Web, and this production is possibly the best I’ve ever directed.

  “What do you think?” Sydney asks me backstage after the cast is gone and the audience has cleared out. Tonight was the last performance of the summer, and Sydney and Lance have been by my side through the whole thing, helping kids learn their lines and overcome their fears of performing in front of an audience. I’m not sure what’s better—watching the young kids perform or the older ones teach them. Either way, this is the best job in the world.

  “I think it’s perfect,” I say, smiling. “I couldn’t ask for more.”

  “Will we get to help next year?” she asks. “And meet at your new building for drama club?”

  I grin. “Absolutely.”

  “I can’t wait,” Sydney says, and next to her, Lance gives an uncharacteristically excited fist pump.

  “Excuse me,” Jake says, making all three of us turn away from the stage. “I’d like to congratulate the director.” He holds out a bouquet of roses. “For my girl.”

  I shake my head. “You didn’t have to do that, Jake.”

  He puts the roses on a table between a couple of prop boxes and pulls me into his arms. “I’m trying to get on your good side so you’ll come home with me tonight.”

  Between the production and gearing up for my new program, my summer has been busier than ever, but most nights I’m at Jake’s or he’s at my house. Sleep has definitely taken a back seat to other priorities the last two months, and I couldn’t be happier. “You might be able to talk me into that.”

  He lowers his mouth to mine, and the teenagers behind him snicker.

  “We’ll give you some privacy, Miss McKinley,” Lance says.

  I wave to them and smack Jake’s hands away when they drift from my waist to my ass. “Behave,” I whisper.

  “I’d rather not.” His next kiss is longer, lingering, and I get swept under the spell of his hands sliding up and down my sides.

  “We’ll lock the door behind us,” Sydney calls.

  Jake pulls away. “Thanks, Sydney! I always liked you.” Mischief is all over his face. He stills until the click of the back door echoes across the stage, then he pushes me against the wall and snakes his hand up my shirt.

  I arch into his touch. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “Getting distracted. I’m back here for a reason, but I’ve got you alone and want to touch.” His mouth trails slowly up my neck, then his breath is hot against my ear. “I have to make up for all those years I couldn’t.”

  I flatten my palm to his chest and push. “Don’t be distracted.”

  His nostrils flare as his gaze slips up and down my body again. “Maybe I’m trying to calm my nerves.”

  “Nerves?”

  He swallows hard and backs up a step. “I wanted to wait until the papers were signed and everything was in place for your new theater program. I wanted to let you get that part of your life in order first.”

  A chill races up my skin. “First? Like before you did something else?”

  “Yeah.” He nods and lowers himself to one knee.

&
nbsp; “Jake . . . Are you . . . Is this?”

  Apparently, my stumbling puts him at ease, because he grins and reaches into his pocket. “You said you wanted to give me something.” He rubs his thumb over the velvet box, and I want to scream for him to open it, but I bite my lip instead. “You said I give you more than you give me. I know that’s not true, because I get to wake up with you next to me every morning. I know I’m the one getting the winning end of this deal every time you laugh with me or prove how deep your love goes.”

  “You give me everything,” I whisper. “Everything that matters.”

  “Then give me your forever.” He slowly opens the box to reveal a sparkling diamond solitaire inside. “If you want to give me more, give me your tomorrows. I want your laughter and tears. I want your good days and the bad.” He takes the ring from the box and reaches for my hand. “Because there’s nothing else I want, Ava.”

  I feel the tears on my cheeks as I nod. “Yes. Of course, yes, Jake.” He slides the ring onto my finger, and I can only stare at it in wonder. Jake’s been my everything even when he didn’t have to be. He was my always even when I pushed him away. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.” He stands and presses me against the wall again as he lowers his smiling mouth to mine. His hand tugs at the hem of my dress.

  “What are you doing now?” I ask against his mouth.

  “I’m fucking my bride-to-be backstage.”

  A shiver of pleasure races up my spine and down my arms. “Oh.”

  He slides his hand between my legs. “I love you, Ava.”

  I gasp as he tugs my panties to the side. “Love you too,” I say, breathless. “But I actually need to talk to you about something.”

  He tugs my panties down until they fall at my feet. “I saw the trash in the bathroom,” he says. “Don’t you dare apologize about it.” He sucks at my neck and rubs between my legs, and I struggle to form words. “We aren’t in any hurry, and if I have to fuck you every day for the rest of our lives to try to give you a baby, that’s just my cross to bear.”

  “The test was positive.”

  He freezes. His hand, his mouth, maybe even his heart. Slowly, he pulls away. “Seriously?”

  Swallowing hard, I nod. “Seriously.” He searches my face, and my heart is so damn full. “I’m pregnant.”

  “Are you happy?”

  I nod, tears spilling onto my cheeks. “So happy.”

  “I didn’t . . .” He swallows and shakes his head. “I didn’t think I could be any happier. I was wrong.”

  “I never expected it would happen so fast. I’m sorry if—”

  He crushes his mouth down on mine. “No apologies. This is amazing.” His lips quirk as he pulls back. “You’re going to need to plan that wedding pretty fast. You up for that? You have to marry me before our baby’s born.”

  “It’s not a have to. I get to marry Jake Jackson.”

  “And have his baby,” he says, his voice gruff.

  I nod. “Exactly. I’m the luckiest girl I know.”

  Thank you for reading Straight Up Love, book two in The Boys of Jackson Harbor series. If you’d like to receive an email when I release a new book, please sign up for my newsletter: http://eepurl.com/qymaH

  I hope you enjoyed this book and will consider leaving a review. Thank you for reading. It’s an honor!

  Read other books by Lexi Ryan

  I love hearing from readers. Find me on my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/lexiryanauthor, follow me on Twitter and Instagram @writerlexiryan, shoot me an email at [email protected], or find me on my website: www.lexiryan.com

  First, a big thanks to my family. Brian, thank you for believing in me and my stories and for understanding how much time this career takes. I love having you by my side for this journey. To my kids, Jack and Mary, you are the very best thing I’ve ever made. I totally get why Ava wants kids so badly because you two are amazing. To my mom, dad, brothers, sisters, in-laws, aunts, uncles, various cousins and cousins-in-law, thank you for cheering me on—each in your own way.

  I’m lucky enough to have a life full of amazing friends. Thanks also to my workout friends and the entire CrossFit Terre Haute crew, especially Robin, who checks up on me when I disappear too long into the writing cave and likes to remind me that taking care of myself is important too, and my coaches, Matt and Chaz. A huge thanks to Mira Lyn Kelly, who gets me like no other. I’ve gotten a lot of amazing things from this career, but her friendship tops the list.

  To everyone who provided me feedback on this story along the way—especially Heather Carver, Samantha Leighton, Tina Allen, Lisa Kuhne, Dina Littner, and Janice Owen—you’re all awesome. Rhonda Edits and Lauren Clarke, thank you for the insightful line and content edits. You both push me to be a better writer and make my stories the best they can be. Thanks to Arran McNicol at Editing720 for proofreading. Clearly, it takes a village.

  Thank you to the team that helped me package this book and promote it. Sarah Eirew took the gorgeous cover photo and did the design. A shout-out to my assistant Lisa Kuhne for trying to keep me in line and for putting in extra hours when I need to write. Thank you to Nina and Social Butterfly PR for organizing the release. I’ve loved working with you and your awesome assistants! To all of the bloggers, bookstagrammers, readers, and reviewers who help spread the word about my books, I am humbled by the time you take out of your busy lives for my stories. My thank you isn’t enough, but it is sincere. You’re the best.

  To my agent, Dan Mandel, for believing in me and staying by my side. Thanks to you and Stefanie Diaz for getting my books into the hands of readers all over the world. Thank you for being part of my team.

  Finally, a big thank-you to my fans. My biggest dream was to make a career with my writing, and I still can’t believe I’m living that dream. I couldn’t do it without you. You’re the coolest, smartest, best readers in the world. I appreciate each and every one of you!

  XOXO,

  Lexi

  Straight Up Love © 2018 by Lexi Ryan

  All rights reserved. This copy is intended for the original purchaser of this book. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without prior written permission from the author except by reviewers, who may quote brief excerpts in connection with a review. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

  This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to institutions or persons, living or dead, is used fictitiously or purely coincidental.

  Cover and cover image © 2018 by Sara Eirew

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